The Silent Killer called Conformity

When was the last time you were totally turned on and lusting after life?

Or do you spend most of your energy trying to fit in with the world??


What does it mean for you?

For me it means to be the same as everyone else.

But we are not the same. We are all unique.

To pretend you are the same you have to deny and diminish who you are.

Why do so many of us do this?

We want to be accepted, to belong, and to be validated by the community, organisation, friends and culture that we’re living in.

But when we live life according to what we think we should do or be, we literally squash ourselves out of existence. It totally sucks.

Conformity is a slow, silent killer. uniqueness

It creates stress in our whole energy system and impacts on our mental, emotional and physical well being. For some, it can result in physical illness and/or mental ill health and having to take medication for long term conditions.

Let me give you an example.

I worked with one person whose work was particularly stressful for them. Over a period of time they realised that their body had developed a bunch of physical symptoms which intensified when they were at work. As work became more stressful, the symptoms in their body became more intense.  But away from work the intensity of the feelings in their body dissipated and disappeared.

What were they doing?

Not being true to themselves, and trying to conform to their environment and morph themselves into something they weren’t.

The judgement they had of themselves about not being right, or getting it right was having a totally negative impact on their confidence as well as their physical and mental well being.

Thankfully they realised this and as they began to see their talents and were true to these and themselves, they began to make different choices to create a different reality.

When we put our energy into conforming we totally miss out on the magic that makes us awesome.

So how do you know if you are trying to conform?

You constantly try to make other people happy by doing what you think they want you to do.

How’s that working out for you? Do you feel unappreciated, resentful, under valued and unseen?

What if, making yourself happy created more of what you were looking for?

Our society has such a strong point of view about us taking care of our own needs. It is called being selfish and self centred. Interesting.

And here’s the thing  – people will always judge you. So you might as well do what makes you happy anyway.

So make yourself happy.

Ask yourself, ‘What do I truly want to choose here?’

You are always telling yourself  you’re not getting it right, or you are not good enough.

You are probably right. You are not getting it right for you.

So ask yourself, ‘What’s right about me I’m not getting?’

What if, the things that you judge yourself for, are actually capacities that you have, that you are not using to your advantage?

What if it’s about finding out what is right for you?

You feel like there is no joy in life and you are going through life on autopilot.

We are human beings and we need to be thrilled and excited and stimulated.

If I gave you an instruction book for living that detailed how everything would be how boring would that be?

Part of the adventure of living is that it is an adventure. It is just that so many of us seem to have forgotten that.

So what do you truly desire to create as your life?

Not what other people think you should create, or what society thinks you should do, but what you desire.

Keep asking yourself that question and see what comes up for you

And what is fun for you?

Don’t make what they say more important than what you are saying.

The same things seem to keep happening to you over and over.

Does it feel that no matter how hard you try you always end up back in the same place with work or relationships?

If so, you are probably trying to conform rather than just being true to you.

What if it’s not about doing things differently but just doing different things?

Over to you

Intrigued by what you’ve read, but not sure how to practically create it in your world?

Then drop me a line at  And as always let me know what you think or what your experience is – I love hearing from you.

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