Are your questions really questions?

When was the last time you asked a question that was really a question?

If this sounds like a strange thing to say, then think about small children. They have an endless stream of questions that come from a space of wonder and curiousity. Do you?

Ken Robinson says, ‘All children start school with sparkling imaginations, fertile minds and a willingness to take risks with what they think’.

We were all children once. What happens to us?

Education and society puts a great deal of emphasis on conformity and having the right answer – were you ever ridiculed for asking a ‘stupid’ question or for getting the ‘wrong’ answer?

So we start to figure out what we have to avoid so that we can belong and be accepted and not be judged. By the time most of us leave school we don’t ask nearly as many questions and too many of us are all about having the ‘right answer’.

Great for conformity, not so good for creativity, happiness or trusting your own knowing.

When you ask yourself a question that you can answer straight away, you’re not really asking a question.

We do it with people too. How many times have you asked someone a question, but you don’t really listen to the answer because you’ve already decided that you know what they will say?

A question is a tool that we use to discover what we don’t know. It is just that we were never really taught how to use them.rsz_laura_940_question 476x287

Let me give you some examples….

How often do you say things like,

What’s wrong with me?

Why can’t I get this right?

Why won’t this work?

How do I fix this?

These aren’t really questions. They are just conclusions with question marks attached to them.

Now feel the difference in these questions….

What’s right about me I’m not getting?

What else is possible?

What would it take for this to turn out better than I can imagine?

These questions feel so much lighter and more expansive.

What if looking for the right answer is also a limitation?

Generally speaking when we have decided that something is ‘right’, or that we have ‘got it right’ we stop questioning it, we stop exploring it and we stop creating it. We do this in relationships, with sex, with money, with our bodies, with our work.

I don’t have a lover.

I am fat.

I can’t get a promotion.

This is as good as it gets.

As opposed to,

What would it take for an amazing lover to show up?

I wonder what it would take to feel great in my body?

What would I truly like to create here?

What do I know that I am not acknowledging?

What if the purpose of questions was to create more awareness, to create more possibilities, to create greater choice and not to get answers?

And what if the answer is actually a limitation.

How can that be so?

Well as soon as you have decided that you have something right then you stop questioning it, and therefore by definition you stop creating it. What if there is never an answer only an awareness and then another question?

As the very lovely Blossom Benedict says, ‘What have you made so vital about answers that stops you asking questions that are magical?’

Over to you

But don’t take my word for it. See what is true for you

I invite you this week to experiment with asking real questions.

Take an area of your life that you have decided isn’t working for you and get curious about it. Become like the curious scientist.

Ask genuinely curious questions….play with them.

But don’t do this if you want to ask questions that will change your life!!

Let me know what you create.

And if you would like some help to begin to ask different and magical questions in your life then drop me an e-mail.

What if it is easier to change than you have decided it is?

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